I thought the will of God was a paper written on both sides with our name, which he kept in His pocket. I have looked for years in all the pockets of His jacket, pants, shirt, and coat without finding it. And I have despaired in prayer for entire hours with just one question:  What is your will, Lord, for my life?

I have been ready to go to Africa to evangelize, to abandon everything, to marry someone I didn’t like, to trust someone I shouldn’t, to accept a broken and bitter life…believing that this was His will.

I threw the furniture of my house out the window in an act of faith, expecting that God would fill my house anew because it was His will. But three years later, my house was still empty, and I had to set it up all over again.

Perhaps His will is written, but how can I keep from misinterpreting it? Perhaps His will could be adapted to my tastes and needs, but what part do I adapt and what part no?  Perhaps His will would be to renounce all my plans and live day to day, but I always end up making plans, even though I didn’t want to. Perhaps His will is manifest in the circumstances around us, and all we have to do is let ourselves be carried away, even though we are carried to a place away from His paths…

And the bewildering points are always left hanging at the end of my reasoning. A Psalm erased them: “Teach me to do your will because You are God” (Psalm 143:10). It doesn’t ask: “Teach me your will,” but it says: “Teach me to DO your will.” It takes as fact that we ALREADY know His will, or that we have easy access to it, that it’s not hidden in the advice of some guru. In fact, it has always been closer to our heart than any other thing. And even though our mind has wanted to go by a forced road, we knew in some way that this was not the way. But no, it’s not that the will of God is in our heart. His will is written, and only walking through the gardens of the Word often will we come to know it. 

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thes. 5:16-18). It’s not a magic trick, but an attitude of life. Look for simple things, trust in God, thank Him for the good and bad that happens to you, rejoice in His hope, drown all your doubts, fears and anxieties in the sea of prayer; learn to walk depending only on His hand…

And when you are faced with a difficult decision to make, have you thought of what you really love and want?  Has it occurred to you that God respects your decision and motives because He loves you and adapts His plans perfectly to yours? Can He enjoy what you really don’t enjoy at all? Is God happy seeing how you embitter yourself traveling a difficult road?

There are many decisions that we can and should make for ourselves. Things to which God doesn’t oblige us, destinies to which He doesn’t direct us. Forks in the road where He doesn’t even give us a hint…because we are adults, not children, and He protects us in whatever road we take, without us having to play martyr, thinking of all the things that we did or stopped doing.

If God doesn’t speak to you directly about a certain issue (and the fact is that at times, yes, He does), then make the decision with wisdom and honesty, resting completely in the arms that are stronger than yours so that you go “from strength to strength” (Psalm 84).

“And how blessed all those in whom you live, whose lives become roads you travel!,

They wind through lonesome valleys, come upon brooks, (discover) cool springs and pools brimming with rain!

God-traveled, these roads curve up the mountain, and at the last turn—Zion! God in full view!” (Psalm  84:7-8, The Message)

This is, without doubt, His will. The Word in action, in humility, in pain sometimes…but with profound joy at the end.

© Manuel Ordax

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 17th, 2009 at 16:09 and is filed under faith issues / cuestión de fe.